New Year Reflections
Well there’s no time like the new year to reflect on the old one, right?
2021 was undoubtedly a rough time for many people, with covid still ongoing, restrictions still in place, and double vaccinations underway.
Helmingham Hall Lights - due to morning sickness, this is the only thing I managed to do over Christmas & New Year 2020/21
So I feel a bit weird when I admit that 2021 for me was, frankly, the best year of my life.
Apart from pregnancy anyway. Pregnancy was largely hellish. This time last year I was curled up on the sofa with non-stop nausea, having to avoid everyone at Christmas because if the smell of a roast dinner came within 30 miles of my schnozz I’d instantly barf and give the secret away. For those first 14 weeks I felt sick every single hour of the day. I even went off the smell of my husband (who we’ll call Mr J), poor guy 😂
Highlights and achievements.
Seeing our baby somersaulting on the screen at 12 and 20 weeks. In the 20-week scan, little man was sucking his thumb, something he also did the day he was born and then hasn’t done again since. 🤷♀️ Anyone else’s baby do this?
Telling our friends and family that we were expecting. Our excitement by this point was unreal. I got to surprise my Nan with the news on her Birthday too, which was really special.
Getting to enjoy the snow during lockdown.
Taking part in the Colchester Virtual Half Marathon in March, at 21 weeks pregnant. Joined by my lovely mum, we walked 13.1 miles around Dedham Vale, raising £243 for the incredible Robin Cancer Trust.
Finding out two of our close friends were also expecting within months of Leo’s due date.
Picking up embroidery as a hobby.
Walking through the bluebells in spring before getting drenched.
Enjoying a lovely baby shower with my friends and family a month before baby Leo was born.
Keeping a pregnancy journal, complete with pictures throughout which I (for once) didn’t let fall by the wayside.
Continuing to put my energy into work until 37+ weeks.
Hobbling around til 39 weeks despite carrying what felt like a bowling ball in my pelvis. Seriously, that felt like an achievement.
Settling into breastfeeding. I was fortunate Leo had a good latch from the get-go but it took a lot of gritting my teeth to persevere through those initial weeks of super sore nipples. Top tip: if you’re an expectant mum hoping to breastfeed, stock up on LOTS of nipple cream.
Introducing Leo to our family and friends.
Those first and ever-changing baby smiles, sounds, wriggles etc.
Learning to eat one-handed. Actually, I’d say I’m still quite poor at this, given the amount of food I’ve dropped on Leo’s head.
Dressing Leo as our pumpkin for halloween.
Carrying Leo up his first (mini) mountain with Mr J.
In fact, all four 1/2 months of Leo’s life has been a highlight so far.
Completing about six books. Suppose that’s a highlight but not an achievement really. Must read more next year, Rodders.
So, on reflection, not many personal achievements for one year, but ultimately, growing, birthing and taking care of this gorgeous new human is our greatest achievement of all, so I’ll go easy on myself.
Let’s be honest, it only took one day of 365 to make it the best year of my life.
My whole heart
That day is the day my son was born. Tuesday, 10th August, two days before his due date. I’ll never forget his face the first moment we saw it, his first cry, his wrinkly forehead as he crawled up to breastfeed for the first time, aka the moment I nicknamed him my tiny terrapin. I have never known a love like it. In the hazy, love-drunk newborn weeks that followed I had countless teary moments about that first day. By teary moments I mean bawling my eyes out and weeping to Mr J about how much I wanted to re-live the birth - I most definitely did not mean the birth, just the bit where Leo had been born 😂 . Even now the hormones have settled somewhat, it still brings a tear to my eye and ‘Terrapin’ has since become a title in my personal book of poetry (that I’m way too shy to share).
Little could top the relief of having my baby boy here safe and well. Every day I wake up and feel grateful to see him there. For once in my life I’m not taking a single moment for granted. I consciously try and savour every smile, every new noise, every cuddle; something I’m not sure is entirely healthy because there’s a beauty in taking things for granted too, right? Savouring it or not, it still goes by in a flash. A magical, colourful flash, though. I flit between excitement to see Leo walk and talk his first words and an urgency for time to slow down so I can savour these precious baby stages a little longer.
Can anyone relate to this post? Do you still remember meeting your baby for the first time? Let me know below!
